When I turned my head toward the wall in an effort to hide my eyes from all the lurkers, I noticed, that the back of the diaper changing station was mirrored. Whose brilliant idea was it to put a mirror inside a baby changing station? What purpose could it possibly serve? No really, I’m asking, because I don’t have a clue!

Anyway, instead of finding a small place to hide my humiliation, I found the reflection of a teenaged girl looking right into my reflected eyes. When our eyes locked, she smiled and winked at me. No kidding, she honestly winked. I quickly slammed my eyelids shut, not because the girl winked at me, but because Mom had thrust her hand, wrapped with a baby wipe, between my butt cheeks.

“Alvin, relax your bottom!” Mom sang, and maybe it was my imagination, but it sounded like her words echoed around the bathroom for an eternity. Apparently, I had been clenching my butt cheeks together without my knowing I was doing it.

“Alvin!” Mom said, snapping her fingers only inches from my nose. I don’t know where she got the idea of snapping her fingers at me, but it was getting old really fast.

I turned my head to look at her.

“Please stop tightening up. Momma can’t get you clean otherwise. You don’t want a rash do you?” she said as if she were doing nothing more than tying my shoes or combing my hair. If it was possible, I think I grew even more embarrassed. It felt, as if someone was inside my head, pressing on the back of my eyeballs in an effort to escape.

I think time jumped forward from there, either that or I blacked out for a while, because the next thing I knew, that strange lady, who had been assisting Mom was tugging my pants back up on me. I opened my eyes and saw that Mom was standing between my feet, stuffing the diapering supplies back into the makeshift diaper bag which she had made up for the trip.