And then it occurred to me that this had been the first night that I did not dream about that horrible morning. Oddly, a part of me felt bad about that; almost like I was letting John down by not dreaming about it again.

I tried to move but couldn’t. It was as if something was holding me down; then I remembered that Joey was in bed with me. We had gone to sleep with him curled into a ball to my left but now he was lying directly on top of me with his head resting on my chest and both of his hands wrapped around my boyhood. I tried to roll him off but my right arm was pinned under him. It was completely numb and lifeless. I dreaded the pain that would come once I was able to free my arm.