Today I received an email reply from Sandra, Which I have posted below. I’m still digesting her responses, she certainly provides me with a different perspective.

Hi Wendy,
Will ring you Tuesday night, but here are some of my thoughts in response to your email on Jason’s childhood background.

I can see how your heart was captured by Jason’s plight, as I was, but my heart went out to Jason’s Mother even more. It certainly reinforced my preference for not putting myself through the “wonders of pregnancy! Here she was, nearly killed by her own precious son, then when barely conscious four days later, presented with a baby to look after with the joyful prospect of going home to an sixteen month old toddler and a husband who was probably at work all day! I’ve got to say Wendy, if you want a baby, getting one by regressing your husband who is half there anyway, seems a much easier and safer option!

My observations is that men are good at conceiving children but frequently poor at helping look after them leaving the woman to do that work. I suspect this was the case here. Where was her husband when she needed a break? The brief mention the father does get is as a disciplinarian. The father as a nurture figure seems entirely absent. In the bigger picture Jason and his mother are victims of a patriarchal society. Overwhelmingly it is women who pay the price for this and in my view it is almost poetic justice that occasionally males also become victims of their own patriarchal system.

Jason’s inner conflict as well as his oppressive macho attitude come from the same set of patriarchal attitudes which tell him that he should be the leader, he should be in control, and that it is his God given right to be head of the home. No wonder Jason feels conflicted about his need to be babied! The truth he is too terrified to fully embrace is that he still needs a woman to care for him and submit to. Deep down he knows he is not their equal and so cannot compete with them. He avoids the challenge of doing so by either becoming a little baby again, or by covering up his inadequacy through his macho behavior. The simple reality he has demonstrated again and again is when he tries to be in charge, his insecurities lead him to either over compensating by being macho, or the poor little mite feels so overwhelmed that he has to run to you and be put in a nappy and plastic panties to feel safe and secure again.

The thing is, he is trapped and he hasn’t got the emotional maturity to save himself. In the light of his helplessness, the only compassionate thing you can do for him, is to take charge and make him your permanent little boy so he can experience safe maternal care. It is there; back in the nursery, he will find his sense of well- being and safety. That way you also will get the predictability in your relationship with him that is only right and reasonable. You will of course need to break his male pride so he can at last be free to own the truth that his proper place is not as your husband but as your baby. This could be fun! Correctly trained little boy are very adorable. I am looking forward to standing along side you in this important project.
Love Sandra