“This is why I didn’t want to tell him about them in the first place.” I told her.

“I can remember tiny bits…
enough to know just how weird they are…
but hearing the finer details is horrendous!”
I hoped she’d see sense and not let the cassette turn itself over.
“I don’t even think about this stuff when I’m awake… so why I dream about it I’ve no idea.”
I truthfully claimed before suggesting that we don’t listen to the other side.

“Burying your head in the sand isn’t going to help.
I’ve no idea why you dream about these things either…
but we’re not going to find out by ignoring the evidence.” she replied.
“Isn’t this thing supposed to turn itself over?” she asked and she stood up and began fiddling with the cassette player.

“Only if it’s set to.” I informed her.
After fiddling with the various auto-reverse settings and getting nowhere, Mum eventually worked out that the easiest way to turn the tape over is to physically do it.
She pressed play and sat herself down at the table.

Skipping or hopscotch at break and lunchtime.
Those games are really hard for a boy and the girls kept teasing me.

“Is this still the girl’s school?” Mum asked as the end of the tape missed a few moments.

“I don’t know… you’re the one who heard it live.”

Mum thought for a few seconds before informing me that it’s possibly a different dream and a different school.

Do all the boys dress as girls in this school?

No. Just some of us. It’s an exchange program.
I swapped with a girl called Gemma so she wears my uniform and goes to my school whilst I wear her uniform and go to her school.
Her father came and gave me her uniform and Mum gave him mine…

A grin swept my mother’s face.
“You’ve certainly got a vivid imagination.”

“Thanks.” I groaned.

“I wear knickers and a training bra,” continued the tape.

I cringed.

and a lacy vest because Gemma wore them so I had to.
I had to go to her ballet class on a Saturday morning and she went to my Scout group on a Thursday…

“You don’t even go to scouts.” my mother said.

I huffed. “It’s just a dream mum… it’s not real… thank god!”

wearing a leotard and a tutu and trying to touch my toes and trying to do a pirouette…

“You did fall in auntie’s pond and you dreamt about that.” Mum said.
“Although you didn’t have to wear a dress…”

“I know Mum…” I replied.
“I remember.” I said as I recalled the reality of wearing a (plain) pair of her knickers and a pair of her pants and one of her t-shirts.

A wry smile swept Mum’s face.
I presume she’s having the same recollection…
or maybe she’s just listening to the cassette.

Are there any others you can remember Peter? Any that didn’t involve school?

I’m excited about going to my cousin’s birthday party, but because she’s a girl I have to wear a dress.
I don’t want to but I have to.
I’m the only boy there but it’s OK because I’m wearing a dress and everyone says it’s really pretty.
We play pass the parcel and I won a tiara, then we’re playing musical statues and my party dress is sort of… floating around me.
It’s really hard to stand still when the music stops because my shoes have heels…
so I didn’t win anything.

Did you enjoy the party?

I think so. Everyone was being really nice to me for a change.

Is this ‘for a change’ in real life or in your dreams?

In my dreams.

So in most of your dreams,
the other people aren’t very nice to you?

Most of the time they tell me that I have to dress like a girl or tease me for dressing like a girl…
sometimes they’re nice to me.

Do you like dressing as a girl? …er… in your dreams.

No. Sometimes.

Have you ever dressed like a girl in real life?

No.

Are you certain?

Yes…

“I must admit I was relieved when you said that.”
Mum interjected.
I gulped and glanced at her.

…I only dream about it.

Interesting. I’m going to bring you out shortly Peter.
is there anything you’d like to ask him?
Peter… your mother’s going to ask you a question.

Er… hello Peter… it’s me.

Just ask him.
He knows your voice.

Sorry, yes, of course. Peter…
if you had some of the clothes you’ve been dreaming about…
would you like to wear them?

I don’t know. Maybe… would I have to wear them?

Not necessarily

Anything else?

No.

OK, Peter, I’m going to leave you under for a few minutes whilst you mother and I have a quick chat.
You shall not listen to this conversation.
Think about last night’s dream instead.