Lindsay giggled at the cartoon on screen, the silly rabbit making jokes she found herself laughing at far more often than most adults would.  To the left of the couch were kicked off shoes and strewn about pants, quickly shed as soon as she had gotten home from work that day.  Just beyond those lie a package that had been eagerly torn open a few days prior, the label obscured but the hole in the wrapping revealing its contents to anyone who would bother to look.  Diapers.  And not of the size meant for infants.  Just one look underneath the blanket wrapping the giggling girl on the couch would prove that.

It had been a funny few days for Lindsay.  Ever since her shipments of clothes, diapers, and a few odd accessories that she had picked up had arrived she had been spending her free time enjoying them.  And the right word to describe it was most definitely enjoy.  She had felt embarrassed, almost nervous when she had laid there on her bed the first time, a diaper in hand and pants around her ankles.  She had bitten her lip as she considered just throwing them all in the trash.  But then she glanced at Kristine sitting up next to her on the bed and found her resolve once more.  She had confidently sprinkled the powder, letting the pleasant aroma intoxicate her for a moment, before she slid the puffy object underneath her waiting butt.  She had let out an excited breath as she tapped it shut, taking a few moments to shift in it, letting the crinkling sound touch her ears and the thick softness relax against her body.

It felt amazing.  It felt right.

Right.  That was how she described it to Kristine as they had played together that evening.  The thickness of it giving her a little waddle.  The odd comfort of a snug garment around her waist and most intimate parts.  The fun feeling of being able to share a connection with the little doll she now carried around her apartment, who did everything from helping her cook (she was good at remembering recipes) to helping her craft texts, it was fun knowing she had a little friend to play with who was now just like her…you know, at least in pretend.

So it was in the midst of this little play date with Kristine that Lindsay received a phone call.  “Hewo,” she said after absent-mindedly answering the call.  She had been far too focused to the TV to check to see who was calling, or to take the pacifier out of her mouth for that matter.  “Haha so is Lindsay there or did she give her phone to a little sister I don’t know about?” Allan’s voice broke through the illusion with a sudden jolt back to reality.  Immediately Lindsay removed the infantile soother from her mouth and muted the TV.

“Hey!  Sorry, I don’t know why I said it like that,” Lindsay said with an increasingly red face and awkward laugh.  She quickly moved on before he could interject.  “So what’s been up with you?  Still enjoying your records?”  “Heyyy funny you should mention that, I’m actually really curious as to what all that place has in stock.  Where is it exactly?  I’ll probably try and swing by there sometime in the next few days.”  “Oh yeah, no problem, it’s actually just down the street from my building.  It’s two stores down from that coffee shop on the corner if you’re walking towards my place.”  “Oh ok, I think I know exactly where you’re talking about!  I’ll definitely check it out sometime soon.”  “Yeah you totally should!”  “I will!”

Then the conversation paused for a second or two, and it seemed like neither of them knew what more to say.  But then Allan hit her with it.

“So after I check it out, do you want to maybe get dinner or something?  I mean, I’ll be right by your place, after all.” Lindsay’s heart gave a little flutter, and she stumbled on her words a little bit as she responded.  For some reason she was blinking her eyes a bunch.  “Yeah!  Yeah for sure, I can totally do dinner.  Yeah that’d be great.”  She stopped herself and cringed at how stupid she had sounded.  But when she heard Allan’s reply, his voice seemed excited and happy.  “Great!  Yeah I’ll definitely hit you up when I’m over there.  You get off work at 5 usually, right?”  “Yeah, yeah on most days.  I’m home by 530 most of the time so just…let me know!”  With a slight chuckle Allan said that he would.  He was good enough not to let any awkwardness linger or build up, and they ended the conversation quickly thereafter.

As soon as she got off the phone she collapsed down into the couch, her doll crushed underneath her chest as she replayed the conversation in her mind.  “Did you hear that Kristine!?  We just totally set up a date!”  Sitting up she started going over what she would need to do to prepare, all the while talking to the doll in her lap as if she was a real-life, living and breathing friend.  One who could chime in with advice and empathy based on their dating experience.

“And all because of going to that great little antiq…” Suddenly Lindsay stopped herself.  She had bought the records at that shop, yes, but she had also purchased the doll she was now talking to that day as well.  Had it really been so recently?  Of course it had.  She hadn’t known Kristine for a long time.  Correction, she hadn’t even NAMED her DOLL Kristine a long time ago.  With this obvious fact moving its way to the forefront of her mind, Lindsay seemed to notice the little baby in front of her looked a great deal less animated and real as it stared out blankly into her apartment.  She felt for the first time since the other day that a fog had cleared and she saw her situation clearly and objectively again.